An open letter to the prick who commented on my weight.

Last night I dined at the coolest sushi-train restaurant ever. It amazed me because between every 2 seats there was a touch-screen monitor where you could conveniently order your sushi/edamame/chocolate-parfait freshly-made. Then DING DING and the monitor would notify you of your picks shortly arrival at the same time as a variety of other tempting delicacies continued to shoo shoo by. Perhaps where you live, such sushi-trains are common but for me, this particular joint’s techno savviness was definitely a first. As the norm with sushi trains, I lost count of how many plates I snatched (in this case, ordered) and only felt slightly guilty later, after seeing my leaning tower of plates. However; I didn’t mind too much because not only was I filled with the creamiest avocado and the freshest salmon but also, pure bliss. I was so happy to be there! Until he opened his mouth, that is.

“Anisa, you’ve put on weight since coming to Japan…”

Then all hell broke loose and I tore out his “brain” (I use quotation marks here because obviously the brother don’t have any) using my chopsticks.

Seriously? What the frick. I suggested he take a “how to treat women” or better yet “how not to treat women” class. Yeah yeah, cultural difference; the Japanese are frank yadi yada – not good enough. Dear mothertrucker, who at the age of 28 is still living  off his parents and has never left his hometown (no judgement – okay maybe a little judgement), moving to a new country is hard. No, no one forced me to fly some 5000 miles from my family, friends and comforts but just because I chose to actively follow my dream, doesn’t make it any easier. In addition to changes in the obvious (food), moving to a new country means encountering and gradually learning to conduct oneself to new and therefore; unfamiliar, weather, work, people, daily routines etc. etc. As well as, having to find the nearest exercise facilities, farmer’s markets, health stores and so on. Or in my case, learning to live by myself, cook for ONE, shop for one and the number one culprit: STRESS. You know, from changing your entire LIFE. Since you’re yet to experience it, being unable to speak the language of the country in which you live can drive you mad. Performing trivial tasks like posting a letter, checking your bank balance or ordering a chai latte can make you sweat (obviously not enough in my case). Lastly, since you’ve traveled so very far to a so very foreign (but exciting) land, naturally, you want to immerse yourself in the culture, make the most of every day, if you will. So if that means immersing oneself in a bath tub of ramen – then so be it! When else are you going to live in Japan? They don’t even have ramen where I live!

I don’t know where I’m going with this – I’ve always struggled with structure (in English not life – shut your trap). I guess what I’m trying to say is, life is to be lived. What did Elizabeth Gilbert say in Eat Pray Love? “I have no interest in being obese, I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans”.

But to answer his question, yes, yes I have. About 5.3kgs to be exact which at first I really struggled with (don’t all we girls?) but now realise is absolutely okay. A while back, I wrote a similar post on body image in which I shared this brilliance: “Our bodies are changing every second. Yet we take the body to be our Self; and, speaking in terms of it, we say, “I am hungry” or “I am lame;” “I am black” or “I am white.” These are all just the conditions of the body. We touch the truth when we say, ‘My body aches,’ implying the body belongs to us and that therefore we are not that.” In other words, not only is it okay for our bodies to change but NORMAL for our weight to shift. AND, we are not defined by it’s appearance for we/I am probably going to lose it all then put it all back on again and lose it and put it on and lose it – OK we’ll stop there (wink wink). Ya dig?!

Phew, glad I got that off of my chest.

Still angry at him.


  1. First off, you’re gorgeous and your body is perfect.

    Secondly, I get the “cultural” argument, but at the end of the day, we don’t need to justify to anyone why our body is doing what it’s doing! I mean gee, thanks buddy, really appreciate that you’re taking the time to keep track of my weight loss/weight gain, but unfortunately that says a whole lot about you and your host of issues!

    Ignore him. I’d be mad too though. But you’re right – our bodies are constantly evolving (take this from a huge pregnant lady with a toddler in tow) and society needs to accept that that’s *OKAY*.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I need to BINGE read your blog, right now. You live in Japan? That is so awesome! It’s a dream of mine (and my husbands). I don’t know for how long you’ve been there but I gained some 4 kgs on my last 10 day trip ;-) Just saying. But, that’s really not the point. Enjoy your stay, if you are still there, life is too short! Too short to hold grudges and definitely too short to say no to ramen (and sushi and yakiniku and shabu-shabu) ;-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sophie-chan! I’ve been here 9 months now and will be staying another 7! It’s hard there are so many foods I want to try and think I should while i’m here but of course also important to look after myself! Such a hard battle ;) glad you understand xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah, I just loooooove cultural insensitivities. I remember once, at a bar with friends in (shudder) Roppongi, a stocky, little Bronx bro bumped into me and said, “Watch where you’re going, chubby.” Funny, I’d lost 30 pounds in Japan and thought I was looking fit and great, but it took one gaijin mofo to shred what little self-esteem and dignity I was scraping up, having heard nothing but insults about my appearance from my then-husband. It took another American wanker out scoping the area for Japanese women to remind me I was in the land of the Thin Female, and I would never look like them.

    Liked by 1 person

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