soul mate

Social Media on Valentines Day

I wrote this exactly one year ago and not one person “liked” it. Yes, I do see the irony in that statement. Shush! New followers, let’s change that ;)
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By now, we are all aware of the destructive affects of social media: Facebook, Instagram and so on. We all know that our friends only post their happy moments; their crème de la crème times. We know this because we do the exact same. Looking at my own Facebook page, I recently posted a bathroom selfie in my interview dress, a picture of myself holding a “yay” sign at my sister’s wedding and a photo of my best friend and I on my Graduation Day. What I didn’t publicise to the internet world was completely blanking out when asked my first interview question or the horrific wardrobe malfunction I experienced with my Maid of Honor dress (let’s just say the fitting room lighting did a great job at hiding its see-throughness!) nor did I post about bursting into tears when I felt the entire world (weather, time, my own body etc) was acting against my expectations on graduation.

Valentines Day. During my past relationships, I posted pictures of my jumbo sized pooh bear, my actual-velvet box of chocolates, my dozen red roses and my V Day steak. What I didn’t post about was patently hinting for those specific gifts sometimes 2 months prior, the many pointless arguments in between the gifts (always sparked by mundane matters) and the awkward “how would you like to pay? separately or together” moments at the restaurant counter.

Only now, after residing in singleton/town for a some time have I began to understand the damaging potential of such archetypal, seemingly perfect V day posts on social media. The great Theodore Roosevelt’s advises us that, “comparison is the thief of joy”. This we’ve all heard and all know to be true yet still cannot help but do. In fact, I think it’s borderline impossible not to see our lives (and ourselves) as inferior compared to the individuals who’ve just received 100 red roses and/or a surprise getaway to Vanuatu. And even if deep down, we know that that (roses/Vanuatu) is not their complete reality, we cannot help but think so. We compare. I know I do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being cynical. I’m merely sharing my own personal thoughts. For if our significant other gifts/surprises us with or plans for us a (insert romantic gesture here) what is it that drives us to share this particular act with the internet world? We as a generation (myself included) place so much effort in publicising our seemingly flawless moments (not just on V day but undoubtedly, these posts are more prominent during this holiday) that it almost feels as if these precious occasions, these valuable affairs would lose their significance if they’re not “shared”. Put not so politely; how f’d up is that?

Which is why I’ve come to the realisation that it should really be the opposite, shouldn’t it? Maybe our rarest, most unique and intimate moments should be unpublished. Solely reserved to be shared (as in real life shared not FB shared) and treasured between us and our significant others. Isn’t that what makes such moments so special in the first place? I know what you’re thinking, that I’m picking on V day because I’m single and bitter and heck, that may very well be the case but… All I know is, Valentines Day is a couple week away and it wouldn’t hurt if we thought twice before hitting the ‘post’ button. Though there is an exception if I happen to meet my future lover in the next 12 days and he gifts me something awesome.