What Happens When You Find The One But The Circumstances Aren’t Ideal

When you think of “the one” you picture the perfect person for you. Someone who ticks all the boxes, someone who completes you. What you don’t think about and what I never thought about (only in hindsight do you realise these things, you see) are the circumstances in which you meet Mr. Right. Why do we never picture the circumstances? What if when you finally meet, and they’re everything you’ve ever wanted and more, the circumstances aren’t ideal? It could be anything, a disapproving family member (on either side), a jealous ex, being at different stages in your lives, a child or two, or living in different continents, all as examples. What happens then?

Well, to be frank, at first it down right sucks. “A bunch of fucking bullshit”, in other words. But then you adapt. For adapting is what you and I were born to do. You fake a smile and pretend it’s all okay, I mean, you have each other right? Isn’t that all that matters? Unfortunately, no. Because when the circumstances aren’t right, let alone ideal, things get difficult. Fast. Oftentimes a huge strain is put on your relationship and you find yourself wondering if all the bs is even worth it at all.

This is when you choose to push through. This is when you keep your faith and hope. For what the fairytales and the “happily ever after”’s don’t tell you, is that happy relationships are difficult. As President Roosevelt once said, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well”.

Perhaps it is the tests and difficulties we encounter which give our relationships their true value. For the more bs we pass through, the more I find myself rooting for us to be successful. What I’ve learnt since finding my person, is that as much as I fret and burn, some of our circumstances I’ll never be able to control. But what I can control, I will attempt to.

In the words of the Persian mystic Rumi, “Gamble everything for love, if you are a true human being, If not, leave this gathering. Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.”

One Day At A Time

It has been 3 weeks since S has left to the States to witness his charming older brother marry an angel of a woman, and spend some much awaited time with his loving family. I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t been easy for me. But you know what? So far, it hasn’t been impossible either. I’ve kept busy (I’ll keep busy), and I’ve taken it one day at a time (I’ll take it one day at a time).

A month ago, daddy making a Kiwi speciality: whitebait fritters, for S.

Can anything beat breakfasting with your love?

Forced S to hike Rapaki with me. He said the view was almost worth the pain.

“You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizons. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens.” ~Ethel Barrymore (Shoutout to the lovely lady customer who said she reads my blog!)

Great fun making my famous pikelets with my kiddies (1 cup plain flour, 1 tsp baking powder, 1/4 tsp salt, 1 free-range egg, 1/4 cup brown sugar, 3/4 cup milk – mix until smooth then cook tablespoon-full amounts in a good quality non stick frying pan or with a little oil in a not so good quality one – about a minute each side)

The night of S’s bitter departure sweetened by dessert from The Villas.

Wearing my boyfriends sweater. (“I imagine a line, a white line, painted on the sand and on the ocean, from me to you.” ~Jonathan Safran Foer)

 

I Haven’t Been Blogging Because…

Loved ones, I can’t even sleep! Though never fear, for I simply cannot wait to start a lifelong of adventure with Soroosh (and YOU!).

Making Great Art Is About Being More Of Who You Are

Sorry my last post was a whiny one. I’m quite good at that, whining. So much so that my primary school teacher, my Payne, told me, as I whinged my way through the wet mud on school camp, that he’d never met someone so complaining and impatient before. Though in my defence (and his) the same teacher gave me the class diligence award at the end of the year. So, I am complaining but I am persistent, too. Yes, a woman of many qualities. Alas, don’t you think I have good reason to complain? Harry seems to think so. You know, Harry from When Harry Met Sally? He takes the words straight out of my mouth when in his epic declaration of love he says: “when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
So, I keep busy…
I bake. 
I shop.

I work.

And I work some more (watching Japanese movies for my next Savvy article).

And I reassure myself that this too shall pass. For almost one year has passed since mummy and daddy came to visit me in rural Japan where my life was so very different to what it is today.

Trying their first ramen. 
Enjoying sakura (cherry blossom) season. A
And watching their daughter imitate Mimasaka’s best sushi chef.

I’m Ashamed At How Many Times I Do It

I’m ashamed at how many times i do it
in between mouthfuls of muesli
in between ad breaks
on my smoko
on the toilet
and each time I’m left disappointed
yet i go ahead
and do it again
http://www.cheapflights.co.nz
just joking
tricked ya!
we’re actually f’n expensive
you can’t see him
you can’t afford it
I thought it would get easier
like when I’d start working
I’d become busy
and I wouldn’t miss him
or at least, not in this way
don’t worry, Anisa
just be patient
things will get easier
turns out
things get horrendous
okay, maybe not horrendous
I mean, my family isn’t sick
and my boss isn’t a dick
I’m not an unappreciative girl.
just that,
none of that changes
the fact of the matter
the fact of the matter
that i’m stationed here
and he’s stationed there
RA RA RA
welcome
to
my
frustrated
stream
of
consciousness.  

If You Take A Flower In Your Hand And Really Look At It, It’s Your World For A Moment

The night before I was to be leaving Soroosh in Nashville, he read me a children’s book to calm my nerves. You may know it, apparently it’s quite popular but at the time, I didn’t. The Kissing Hand as the title suggests is a kiss in a hand gently pressed on its recipient’s face.

I recently received this kiss in the mail. 
The first time I experienced origami (the art of paper folding) was in Japan where a coworker asked an entire class to make a paper crane, write their name on it and later stand and declare: “this crane was made by (insert name here)” as a way of introducing themselves. I remember silently panicking for the students who wouldn’t know how to do it. Turns out I had no idea. Every student made a crane. And they made them fast!


You know how they say only in hindsight can you realise the true value of a moment? Well, I remember feeling extremely homesick and out of my comfort zone that very make-a-crane day. However, if it wasn’t for that unique experience, I wouldn’t have been able to pass on the art to my new students today.

“You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.” ~C.S. Lewis (Coffee. He means a cup of coffee!)

You know round Saturn peaches? Well, turns out they have pretty inappropriate looking nectarine cousins and here’s one of them.

More work antics….I love my job!

Let Us Have Love And More Love

Soroosh and I had the mutual idea of having a long-distance date this Valentine’s Day. Two average internet connections and two takeaway salmon and avocado (poor guy doesn’t even like either) sushi boxes later, we managed to pull it off on my lunch break (his dinner). And it was so lovely and he looked so handsome and I will always remember it. But you must know (and I want to vent about it) that our long-distance relationship isn’t always idyllic. Like, I really dislike only getting to hear of the parts of his life he deems significant enough to tap out over Messenger. I want to know ALL of the details and especially the so-called insignificants…
Though I must say, it is rather romantic knowing someone on the other side of the world is picturing your face every night before falling asleep in bed. 
Let us have love and more love; a love that melts all opposition, a love that conquers all foes, a love that sweeps away all barriers, a love that aboundeth in charity, a large-heartedness, tolerance, forgiveness and noble striving, a love that triumphs over all obstacles. ~Abdu’l-Bahá

Leap And The Net Will Appear

Look auntie Pouneh(France), Dave and Maria(Spain) who love bicycles! This is my new ride for the summer.


Sweet strawberry picking with my sweet mama (and sweet family) in sunny Pleasant point.

That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too. (Kaui Hart Hemmings)

Walnut flour crackers, Akaroa salmon and lots of Puhoi Valley NZ cheese. A throwback from our Persian-Kiwi Christmas lunch.

Much needed coconut water after a 9km ride after an 8 hour shift on a 30 degree day.


These last two are for baby Mia: Lifa and Aki’s beautiful newborn. My heart is overjoyed for you (especially OZ-kun).