Holiday Blues

I have holiday blues. Yes, there’s such a thing. I Googled it.

WAH.

Seriously though, I feel so blue tonight. I am pinning it down to these:

Over-scheduling (see previous post)
You see, I only have 2 weeks left in Japan which is why I’ve been really pushing myself to see and do everything. Also, to keep my blog fresh and up to date. Because I truly enjoy it, it is my passion and of course to keep with my hot-shot writing dreams. However, amidst all the hustle and bustle and adventuring, I seem to have forgotten I’m not superhuman. I am exhausted. But here’s the problem. It’s not like I have anything else. I do a bit of free-lancing here and there but it’s not enough to occupy an entire day. And I know you all wish you didn’t have to work a 9-5 day and/or look after your needy significant other and/or rowdy children so that you could have even a spare moment to read a novel, go for a run, drink a coffee in silence, paint your nails etc but I swear, human wiring comes with the disease of always always wanting what we don’t have.

Holiday food
My general diet for the past year and half of Japan life has been a challenge. You can read about it here. Or in short, it’s been challenging learning to shop, cook and eat for one. I miss sitting around a table and eating with others. When I do eat with others here, it’s usually eating out. Which is exciting yes, and I feel should be done cos like when else am I gonna be in JAPAN to eat this authentic soba?! But at the same time, it’s not the healthiest. And even though I try to choose the healthiest menu items and exercise everyday (sometimes walking or cycling 10+ ks), it’s still not the same as eating and living on a normal schedule in the comfort of your own hometown. All this holiday food then, is starting to make me feel bad about my body image and myself.

Unrealistic expectations of myself
A quote I’ve mentioned several times here, “comparison is the thief of joy” by Theodore Roosevelt. During holidays, we meet countless faces. In Japan, most are settled in good jobs with babies and husbands. My current life is much much different in comparison. Again, it seems instinctive of human wiring to compare. I keep forgetting that this won’t be my life forever and that I too am chasing my dream/working towards a good future. When I compare my very undetermined life with theirs, I feel sad.

Lack of sleep
A combination of the above.

I know I’m probably being too hard on myself but I, 1. needed to get this off of my chest and tell someone seeing as I’m all alone in this wah and 2. wanted you to know that it’s not all castle and croissants and that there is depth to the pretty pictures.

Last, am going on a money and food diet.

1…2…3… (a goal-starter countdown I’ve always done as a kid for which my father would always mock me)

Too Much Perfection Is A Mistake

Sometimes the people who give contrary advice to your life’s calling aren’t always doing it in a menacing way. I just came off a Skype call with my mama where she spent a good 30 min advising me to blog less. She said, blogging should be done in moderation, that it shouldn’t take away from the now and that some things, some special things should be kept secret. To all of which, I concur.

Now, my mama, she’s my number one fan. She’s always wanted the very best for me so I know that she meant well. But, I like to think that my blog is different to the average travel bloggers (see here). This is because, I’m open about my financial problems, my weight problems, my homesickness, my singledom, my worries and my stresses as well as my joys and triumphs. Further, I write because it’s my passion. It’s what I love to do more than I love myself. To blog or to be continuously active on social-media with the sole intent of constructing some fake image, I couldn’t loathe more even if I wanted. But what I’m trying to do and I hope I have achieved thus far to some extent is to share my truth in order to inspire others. As I’ve said, time and time again, traveling solo isn’t easy, mingling with opposite cultures and living and breathing different climates doesn’t come with an instagram filter. It isn’t a piece of cake (or a bowl of ramen). It is what it is and I hope to share it. Too much perfection is a mistake.
PS she means “natural”.

Eating For Two…

So I have a confession to make… I think it’s important you know…

Hehe did it work? Did you click the link thinking I was pregnant? Ha, well it’s pretty hard here without any human interaction. As much as I love Asian babies that isn’t my confession. Yet. I want to talk to you about food bloggers. I want to tell you that contrary to our beliefs, they don’t always eat everything they make. Like, all of the foodporn on their Instagram is often just that. After they’ve put a filter on it and shared it on the World Wide Web, they, like me, probably share it with their friends or only eat a quarter and pack the rest for later. Don’t be fooled y’all. Remember the old adage: “never trust a skinny chef.”
In other words, no one stays fit off sweet potato, medijool, cashew cream cake for dessert.

three truths behind blogging

Yesterday marked my blog’s one year anniversary. One year may not seem a long time but when thought about as 365 posts, each approximately 500+ words, to me, it seems like an eternity of work.

By now, we should all be aware of the true workings of social networks such as Instagram and Facebook. If not, let me remind you that these sites only exhibit snippets of an individual’s life. Snippets that are carefully selected and often manipulated, too . By no means are  your “friend’s” posts an all-encompassing representation of their life. After some reflecting on the year that has been, I’ve come to realise that most blogging is, if not the same, worse.

I’ll explain in points.

1.Edited photos.


Suddenly my lunch is better than yours.

2.Followers
Don’t get me wrong, the only reason I do this thing is for likes and followers (yes it’s a sad sad world) but seriously, when one has acquired a following one simply cannot disappoint. So, sometimes I post because I have to. This especially applies to recipes and food. Obviously I love food, I accidently ate the whole thing and all but sometimes I hate food too. Just like spending too much time with a certain someone can drive you up the wall, so can continuously discussing food or fashion or motherhood.

3.Empathy
I don’t know about you but the first thing I learnt about story-telling was the importance of having a likeable character. Cinderella, Alice, Tintin, all likeable. Meaning, no blogger is going to gain/keep a readership by being cynical. “I baked this sugar-free chocolate cake for my daughter’s third birthday which was an absolute joy” is much nicer than “I hate birthdays, they suck out the very last ounce of energy left in my tired soul because no-one, including my husband helps out and I end up having to do everything on my own.”

So, a lot of blogging, especially professional ones (I’m thinking food, travel and fashion) is fabricated. This, I know, from my own first-hand amateur experience and a quick scroll through the internet.  So why am I bagging my own vocation? I  guess it has something to do with honesty and a sense of obligation. So what does that mean for iaccidentlyatethewholething this coming year? Well, apart from the ripening of the ever so awaited Japanese figs and persimmons, God willing; a little more soul, a little more purpose.