I Am Growing Flowers…

in the darkest parts of my heart, for if light ever enters, it would know where to start. ~Noor Unnahar

On Sunday evening, S and I went to The Tannery to watch one my favourite musicians, whom I first stumbled upon busking in Queenstown some 5 years ago (he busking not me) at live music venue, Blue Smoke. Of course, Graeme James was absolutely phenomenal – people like him make me wish I was at least slightly musical. On the contrary, S and I were not in top form.

You see, since his arrival, things have been pretty difficult. Getting used to one another’s presence after six months of separation takes work. Funnily enough, and I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing this, Lifa (my Israeli brother with the beautiful Japanese wife) contacted me with a very resonating message a couple days ago:  “Are you guys still madly in love?” he asked, followed by: “When Aki came to meet me in Israel she suddenly wasn’t sure anymore…I would blame it on me coming late to pick her up from the airport but you know…doubts started and all. Eventually we passed that but what I’m saying is that surprises can happen.”

In my case, there have been no doubts, none whatsoever at all. Just disappointments. Allow me to explain: for 6 entire months I had looked forward to his arrival. So much so, that I had booked and cancelled 3 different cafe’s for our first place to go to after the airport (I couldn’t decide which would impress him the most). Next, I’d planned our weekends, and week nights, and basically, every minute of which I was not at work. We’d missed out on so much, now that he was finally here, I wanted us to do it all! But as the old yiddish proverb goes: “man plans and god laughs.” At first S was extremely jet-lagged, then poor guy fell sick due to climate change, then I became sick (both physically and emotionally) due to overly attached girlfriend shenanigans (haha). And, it’s also winter, which means everything is just that much harder to begin with. So, with my grand schemes down the drain, and my expectations unmet, I found myself rather disappointed.

And this is where we chose love. Realising that if we wanted to be more than picture-perfect happy, we needed to put in the effort. So, as kindly as we could, we communicated our feelings, and as selflessly as we could, we acknowledged one another’s. It was an arduous process. It is an arduous process. I can’t say I’ll ever master it. But what I can say is that it was the rain (and shine) which made our relationship blossom. For the sincere way S offered me solace, made me fall in love with his beautiful soul all over again. In the words of Abdu’l-Bahá: “where there is love, nothing is too much trouble and there is always time.”

There’s Nothing New Under The Sun. It’s Never What You Do But How It’s Done.

Dear Ashida Sensei,
This one’s for you!
Thank you for reading my blogs. I miss you and I miss Japan very very much, too!

Yesterday, I received a jam-packed envelope containing letters from my ex Junior High School students in Japan. Ashida Sensei, thank you for initiating them. I have always admired you. You once told me that you teach because you feel an obligation to open your student’s minds to the outside world. At the time, I thought your statement was beautiful. Today, with the heartbreaking circumstances of our world, I understand it as incredibly necessary, too. Thank you for selflessly shaping our future. Funnily enough, lately I have been receiving some negative opinions (and unfortunately from those dear to me) about my work. The education of children is not adequately valued in our society. These attitudes have left me unhappy, thinking that perhaps I should have studied something different, something more reputable like medicine or law. Fortunately, other positive forces in my life have rescued me from the quicksand of such negative thoughts. One beautiful lady in particular pointed me to the following quote by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, the eldest son of Bahá’u’lláh, the Prophet Founder of the Bahá’í Faith:

Among the greatest of all services that can possibly be rendered by man to Almighty God is the education and training of children… It is, however, very difficult to undertake this service, even harder to succeed in it. I hope that thou wilt acquit thyself well in this most important of tasks, and successfully carry the day, and become an ensign of God’s abounding Grace; that these children, reared one and all in the holy Teachings, will develop natures like unto the sweet airs that blow across the gardens of the All- Glorious, and will waft their fragrance around the world. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá: Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá. pp. 133-134)

So, “the education and training of children” is not only the greatest service of all time but also one that is very difficult to do and to succeed in. Don’t get me wrong, I am not tooting my own horn. Rather, I wish to acknowledge the true importance of a teacher’s work.

I would like to finish with my favourite Japanese Proverb:

Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.

Be Easy. Take Your Time. You Are Coming home.

A poem by Nayyirah Waheed.

Every year, during the month of March, millions of healthy and able adult Bahai’s around the world observe the 19 day Bahai Fast. They/we/me fast by restraining from food and drink between the hours of sunrise and sunset as a way to focus all our thoughts and energies on “meditation, prayer, and spiritual rejuvenation”. Obviously, it takes serious will-power and it isn’t always pretty (or at least not for me). In the past, I have fasted at the Bahai World Centre, amongst hundreds of other Bahais (heaven!), during University (seemingly impossible), whilst working in hospitality (what a tease!) and alone in the remote mountains of Japan (yet with incredible support see HERE). Thankfully, this year I have the support of my family and I am no longer working in hospitality (thank God!). 1 day down, 18 to go! #hangryIf you thought I’d given up on my book a week challenge, you get a brownie ball (see what I did there?) but only because strictly abiding by the weekly time limits was stressing me out. So, I’m still reading and maybe even still a book a week but I’ve lost track of the what and when. Here’s book NO.whocares by a very talented writer. Totally recommend it. So funny and relatable (yes, even to a non-mama).

“The soul is healed by being with children.” ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“Grown-ups love figures… When you tell them you’ve made a new friend they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? ” Instead they demand “How old is he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make? ” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.”
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
Preschool day trip to the Canterbury Museum. Has anyone visited the discovery room here?! It is incredible and only $2 to enter! I cannot wait to take Soroosh, and to show him the room with the 100s of beautiful butterflies! 3 months today xx

Updates

Figuring out that being an adult and living the “adult life” isn’t easy. Or rather, when we reach a certain age, we tend to begin complicating things. Life is simple. Why do I allow myself to become so attached to society’s expectations of me? In the short space of a little over a month that I’ve returned, I’ve tried to do everything including: returning/creating a normal/non-traveller lifestyle, finding my dream job and planning for my future. Okay, so our visitors and our planned family-holiday in the mix were out of my say but everything else, I have personally cultivated. Don’t get me wrong, productivity is great but in the thick Persian accent of my mother, “mo-de-ration iz im-portant.” Life is percious and life is fleeting but like my brother-in-law once said, life is actually really long, too (if we’re lucky). Which means, I don’t have to find my dream job before a certain age. I don’t have to justify my life decisions. And making memories with my family and friends, looking after my well-being  and enjoying the day to day is what comes first. Currently trying to calm the frick down and do what makes my heart sing. Some of which include, baking delicious muffins, writing for Savvy Tokyo (new article HERE), and pursuing my “book a week” challenge.

2 free range eggs
4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 tbsp runny honey
1 tbsp sugar-free Barker’s apricot jam
1 cup almond flour
1 cup self rising flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1/3 cup unsweetened yoghurt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
Handful of raw walnuts, chopped small
Some dark chocolate, chopped small
4-5 small apricots, chopped small
Mix everything together, pour slightly thick mixture into a greased muffin tray and bake at 160 degrees until fork comes out clean (about 25 min)
Book two, week two!

I’m Youth I’m Joy

“Pan, who and what art thou?” he cried huskily.
“I’m youth, I’m joy,” Peter answered at a venture, “I’m a little bird that has broken out of the egg.” ~J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Not your typical he surprised me by making me a romantic breakfast picture. He made me breakfast because it’s been one hell of a challenging time figuring out our lives together and how we’re going to make this work with all the crazy distance – which made it that much more delicious. There’s always two sides to everything, and to a picture. I hope we can all rise above the tests and difficulties we encounter and to keep strong our faith. On a lighter note, he is the sweetest.

Outfit of the day: green-stone necklace form NZ, top, skirt and bag from Osaka, Japan. $8 shoes from H&M in Nashville, USA because my regular sandals had given me super painful blisters. Ring from a chain clothing store in France and watch from my sister and brother-in-law (NZ) as a thank-you gift for having hosted them in Japan last year. 
Sunflower Cafe.

Such a delicious burger! I love vegetarian.

It’s a small world. This is the epic Persian (and vegetarian) food spread lovingly prepared by my father’s first cousin who happened to read here that I am in Nashville and invited me and my host-family over for dinner. I am so happy I was able to meet her, her husband and her beautiful daughter.

Pumpkin cheesecake and chocolate sea-salt. Worth every single calorie. From Five Daughters Bakery.

Whatever Happened To…?

Yasu:
Inspired by the Japanese minimalistic movement, I decided to tackle my post-Ohara travels with only a single carry-on. This meant letting go of A LOT of my stuff. One of these belongings was this pair of kawaii (cute) bunny slippers bought for me by my dear mama. I decided they belonged with Yasu (my unexpected friend) seeing as she loves bunny rabbits so much (image below drawn by her). Yasu decided they better suited her mom whom apparently now wears them all-the-time. My heart. Oh my heart.

Also, I may or may not have influenced Yasu to go against her entire country/upbringing… for just a week ago, Yasu got not one but TWO tattoos by the same guy who inked the tulip on my arm. Talk about bad influence (hehe). Ha-ha I joke, I joke! Not to boast my own trumpet or anything, but I totally feel I opened her eyes. As in, challenging the norm, thinking for her own and taking pride in being different to everyone else! Next, she has promised to travel out of Japan to visit me sometime: “wherever you go” she says.

Watch this space people!

Yuko:
My dear Japanese momma who’d invite me to her house and cook me all sorts of delicious food, that Yuko. She, her husband and her teenage daughter, Juri will be visiting and staying with my family in New Zealand this December. The funny thing is, I won’t actually be there. Now that’s some friendship! I promise to ask my sister to take many a nice pictures for me to post here.

PS can you tell which is Juri and which Yuko?! Goodness, I NEED Japanese genes.

Lifa, Akiko and Oz:
These guys message me all of the time. Always asking if I’m okay and/or if they can help me in anyway. They’re the sweetest family there ever was. I look up to them and wish to have a beautiful family like theirs one day. Soon, they’re off on holiday to Haifa, Israel (Lifa’s hometown). They’ve promised me to eat mounds of falafel and tahini on all of our behalves.

Michiyo:
Mi-chan is the lovely girl who let me wear her Yukata for my going away dinner. A beginner yoga instructor, she has promised to visit me in Yoga capital India. Her dream is to travel far and wide. Here, we are eating a vegan lunch, a term many Japanese countryside dwellers have never even heard of.

Osaka Expocity

I chose to walk to Osaka EXPOCITY (a newly built amusement park/shopping mall featuring Japan’s largest ferris wheel) today. My GPS said it would take 1 hour and 19 minutes. When I told my Japanese friends, they were mortified. But “WHY” they questioned. You see, Japan has the world’s best transportation system. Their trains are so unbelievably convenient that it doesn’t make sense to travel another way. However, seeing as I’m a New Zealander (as well as a world citizen) I did what Kiwis do best and just tackled the journey.

As I walked and walked I thought and thought. Some good, some bad, some unnecessary. I thought about how I am quickly running out of money and how I should probably start budgeting and I thought about my family and how I wish they were going with me – in saying that, I was very very lucky to join my ex-colleague and her super-adorable kids.

As I neared EXPOCITY, I started seeing groups and groups of young girls and attractive young couples. Now I must say, Osaka has some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I think it’s because they make a big effort to look pretty. Which I personally don’t think is a bad thing! Their outfits are always on point and their hair and make-up lovely. But sometimes I forget this. I see them and their perfect straight hair and super slender figures and I feel too big. Today, when I finally arrived at EXPOCITY, for the first time ever, I did a thing. I looked down at my legs which I’m often criticising and I said out loud, like a crazy lady, I said, thank you. Thank you for being fit and healthy and thank you for carrying me. Then I had one hell of a day!








Food: natural granola, honeydew melon, dried mandarin and walnuts with almond milk for breakfast, frozen raspberry and condensed milk after my walk, soba lunch, almond-milk latte, fresh gelato – I had adzuki (red beans) and milk with matcha (green tea) and last, a simple dinner of wholewheat crisp-bread, raw walnuts, watermelon and goat’s cheese.

Last, about EXPOCITY: I would say take a lot of money. Everything costs. I loved the Ferris Wheel. A shop-assistant told me the night view is even better so I’m hoping to do that before I leave. It’s definitely a good place for young children… and of course, very busy so better to go at 10am when they open and have an early lunch shortly after before the queues get too crazy.

Make A List

If you haven’t heard of Dallas Clayton, you’re missing out (big time!) so please check him out here right NOW!

Welcome back! Isn’t he an unfairly talented guy? To me, he is a huge inspiration. I only wish to inspire like he does. Last night, when I was pondering my new found smile, I came across Clayton’s latest work of art:

How could I have missed something so simple? I mean, I was trying my best to live a good life, the countryside was so beautiful. I’d started new hobbies including cycling and yoga and made unexpected friends like this ojichan (old man) and yasu. But that didn’t mean I was actively engaging in activities I knew I loved. I know this sounds vain, I really do, but in this city, I am happy because I am filling my day with activities I know that I like. I am exercising (not sitting on my bottom for 8 hours straight in a suffocating room), walking walking walking (not driving for one hour to get groceries, alone), eating healthy, dressing pretty, writing in artsy cafes, appreciating diversity, purchasing freshly-made green smoothies and enjoying the odd glance from a boy. My new life makes me feel alive and it makes me feel young!

So how about you? What makes you happy? Painting? Drawing? The ocean? Cooking? Dining out? Road-trips? Building Lego? Dancing to the Beatles? Collecting fruit-stamps, watching old movies?

Are you doing it? Could you be doing it more?

The Pain Of Parting Is Nothing To The Joy Of Meeting Again

This post should really be split between several posts because it’s so  heartful – is that a word?

From top to bottom: my goodbye party last night, a few of my thoughtful thoughtful gifts…one of which…drum roll please… IS THE RETURN OF MY BENTO! I know! I can’t believe it either. I am SO overjoyed. And last, snaps of some of my loved ones including  a picture story of my new friend gifting me his (second) best watermelon  (I remembered my camera this time).

 

This Moment Contains All Moments

Do you remember Yasu? My unexpected friend? Well, her family thew me a goodbye party last night. We ate clam chowder, sushi rolls (featuring pink, green and whie rice), tofu salad and much more. Her mother is such a sweet soul and a very good cook. Last night she reminded me very much of my own mother. She’d made this pork and egg dish which she kept apologizing for. She’d say, “please try this, I made it but I’m sorry, it became too spicy.” Each time someone reached for a helping or she offered it to them, she’d say sorry. I told her my mama was the same. That whatever she cooked she’d end up apologizing for. And even though if it was the yummiest dish in the world, she’d still be saying sorry. Then my father would tease her for having apologized, again. Silly sweet humble loving mamas.

Yasu’s younger sister, Shoko, whose name for the life of me I can’t remember so I have to call her what her two year old nephew calls her: “aka”, surprised me with the beautiful cake pictured. We had a blast. I can’t believe how much they did for me. I wish I’d met Yasu sooner. I keep questioning why our paths didn’t cross earlier. Especially since she had been living right there, in the upstairs apartment! We could have shared so many dinners together – a thought which brings me much joy but also sadness.

After dinner, we did hanabi (fireworks) – an activity strongly resonant with Japanese summer.