Eating For Two…

So I have a confession to make… I think it’s important you know…

Hehe did it work? Did you click the link thinking I was pregnant? Ha, well it’s pretty hard here without any human interaction. As much as I love Asian babies that isn’t my confession. Yet. I want to talk to you about food bloggers. I want to tell you that contrary to our beliefs, they don’t always eat everything they make. Like, all of the foodporn on their Instagram is often just that. After they’ve put a filter on it and shared it on the World Wide Web, they, like me, probably share it with their friends or only eat a quarter and pack the rest for later. Don’t be fooled y’all. Remember the old adage: “never trust a skinny chef.”
In other words, no one stays fit off sweet potato, medijool, cashew cream cake for dessert.

Behind The Scenes

If you didn’t know, fruit is expensive in Japan. Like, 8-bucks-for-a-single-peach expensive. So, I may have spent my month’s grocery allowance already…And since I don’t get paid for this blog, unlike some other food-bloggers, I have had to alter my foodie-ventures. You might know (if you’re a regular follower) that I’ll be finishing up my contract in the Japanese countryside in less than 8 weeks… which means (note to self) I should be eating the things in my pantry instead of grocery shopping. So, I  raided my pantry and made  onigiri (rice balls). These specific ones are called sekihan 赤飯 which are usually white rice boiled together with red beans – though I used brown rice and too many beans (on purpose of course). They are a traditional Japanese dish and often served on special occasions throughout the year like birthdays, weddings and some holidays, such as Shichi-Go-San.

Further, I didn’t buy these flowers. I rode my bicycle at 5.30am, in the rain and picked these wild ones instead. There, I had the pleasure of receiving 3 vicious sand fly bites which have caused my ankles to become as large and round as my watermelon.

So I have a confession to make…

But it is not really a confession. More like a realisation. A sad and rather disheartening discovery of self, if you may. Okay, here it is:

Chef Anisa is not really a Chef.

Allow me to elaborate, in pictorial evidence. The following are “Chef” Anisa’s recent creations: a Mediterranean brunch featuring shakshuka and cannellini-bean dip, a vegan smoothie bowl (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) and a vegetarian lasagna.

Do you SEE what I’m sayin’? I don’t know how to cook. I just know how to cook three/four meals, anew.

Ah, the shame. The utter downright ignominy of it all. I’m Persian for goodness sake. Where is the saffron? The pistachio nuts, the glistening fried barberries atop the fragrant jasmine rice and the mint fried onions swimming in my ASH*?

New Year’s resolution TWO: cook new stuff.

*Ash is an traditional Persian soup. It is green and chunky and full of the good stuff: legumes, meat, noodles, herbs and spice.

Anisa sensei (chef Anisa in disguise) strikes again

First off, I want to say that I’m in the wrong country for food art. Seriously guys, how can anything I make shine, when my neighbor, the supermom, is making Tottoros from seaweed and rice?!

Next, that for the first time in my 23 years of life, I am actually feeling the festive side of Christmas. No, I’m not the Grinch in disguise, I was just born in Iran. Growing up, I had learnt of Christianity during Baha’i Children’s Class but I’d never encountered the festive side of the Birth of Christ. That is, until we arrived in NZ and witnessed everyone becoming super excited over a day which we knew nothing about and I always always felt left out. It seemed to me that everyone was decorating trees, baking gingerbread houses and filling out Christmas cards and I was not. In fact, I think about 13 Christmases came and passed where my family simply treated the day as an inconvenient one where everything was shut.

Later, when I started dating a Kiwi and later again, when my sister became married to one, we experienced the festive side of Christmas through them and their families, for the very first time.

This year, not only am I going to have a white Christmas in JAPON but I’ll be spending it with my dear dear sister and brother-in-law who are coming to visit in exactly five days, FIVE! If there’s anything I’ve learnt from living this crazy difficult adventurous life in rural Japan, it’s that the most important thing in life is being with loved ones.

Christmas Oats:
1/2 cup oats, 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ginger powder, 1 tsp pure maple syrup. Stir on low until ready. To serve, top with fresh Christmas themed fruit and natural peanut butter.

Kinako (soybean powder) Cookies:
I used this (For Diets! Super Easy Kinako Cookies), cookie recipe and simply added raisins to one batch and sesame seeds to the other for variety.

Barley Chocolate Chip Cookies:
I used Erin’s cookie recipe and added macadamia nuts, too.

Three Food Bloggers I Wish Were My Friends

There are gazillions of foodies on the internet but frankly, 99% are the same. Seriously, if I see another excessively decorated nana ice-cream or ridiculously high and overly sauced buckwheat pancake stack, I’m going to debeak a chicken myself. GASP (oh no she didn’t).

However; I absolutely adore the following three women – even though I’ve never actually met them. Alas, thanks to the power of the internet, they have become my inspiration. Of course, they don’t need the publicity, especially from an amateur-blogger like me (I’m not fishing I swear) but for a while now, I’ve been meaning to dedicate a post to them, so here it is:

Eleanor Ozich of Petite Kitchen
Fellow Kiwis, we’re SO blessed to have this lady in our homeland. Based in Auckland, Eleanor’s focus is on simple wholefood recipes. Recipes which are often naturally free of gluten, dairy and refined-sugar. But not always. For she has something delicious for every palette. ‘Simple’ is the word Eleanor uses again and again which is undoubtedly, what makes her blog so popular. I wish Eleanor were my friend so I could play with her two (and one on the way) absolutely adorable curly-blonde-haired children, trade dresses with (both she and her style are gorgeous) and be able to join in on (and thus eat at) her warm and cosy picnics and dinners.

Heidi of Apples Under My Bed
Heidi is a Melbourne-based recognised and practising dietician. Her blog is her diary about food, travel, cooking and life as we know it. Heidi’s approach is real and honest. I love her posts. I love her recipes and I love her newly born daughter. Joan is so tiny but her eyes so big. I am truly gaga over her. If I could only use two words to describe Apples Under My Bed, they’d be cozy and comfort. I wish Heidi were my friend so I could wrap up in her blankets and eat her delicious home cooked talent. Oh and borrow (and forget to return) her vintage spoons and cloth napkins.

Siri Barje aka Olive Hummer 
Siri is a trained chef at the Grythyttans Restaurant School. Sometimes she lives in Dubai and others in Stockholm. Her blog is about “real food. No damn diets, detox or bad conscience juices.” Siri says “breakfast is important. Eat pasta. Do not forget lunch.” I LOVE HER. Her recipes are bold, colourful and unfailingly flavoursome and so is she herself! Her posts are always so entertaining. Her personality is SO great! I wish Siri were my friend so I could stroke her luscious hair (seriously it’s insane), eat her delicious creations (well, duh) and engage in long, meaningful and humor-filled conversations. Puss (kiss in Swedish).

three truths behind blogging

Yesterday marked my blog’s one year anniversary. One year may not seem a long time but when thought about as 365 posts, each approximately 500+ words, to me, it seems like an eternity of work.

By now, we should all be aware of the true workings of social networks such as Instagram and Facebook. If not, let me remind you that these sites only exhibit snippets of an individual’s life. Snippets that are carefully selected and often manipulated, too . By no means are  your “friend’s” posts an all-encompassing representation of their life. After some reflecting on the year that has been, I’ve come to realise that most blogging is, if not the same, worse.

I’ll explain in points.

1.Edited photos.


Suddenly my lunch is better than yours.

2.Followers
Don’t get me wrong, the only reason I do this thing is for likes and followers (yes it’s a sad sad world) but seriously, when one has acquired a following one simply cannot disappoint. So, sometimes I post because I have to. This especially applies to recipes and food. Obviously I love food, I accidently ate the whole thing and all but sometimes I hate food too. Just like spending too much time with a certain someone can drive you up the wall, so can continuously discussing food or fashion or motherhood.

3.Empathy
I don’t know about you but the first thing I learnt about story-telling was the importance of having a likeable character. Cinderella, Alice, Tintin, all likeable. Meaning, no blogger is going to gain/keep a readership by being cynical. “I baked this sugar-free chocolate cake for my daughter’s third birthday which was an absolute joy” is much nicer than “I hate birthdays, they suck out the very last ounce of energy left in my tired soul because no-one, including my husband helps out and I end up having to do everything on my own.”

So, a lot of blogging, especially professional ones (I’m thinking food, travel and fashion) is fabricated. This, I know, from my own first-hand amateur experience and a quick scroll through the internet.  So why am I bagging my own vocation? I  guess it has something to do with honesty and a sense of obligation. So what does that mean for iaccidentlyatethewholething this coming year? Well, apart from the ripening of the ever so awaited Japanese figs and persimmons, God willing; a little more soul, a little more purpose.