english

The Best Book For ESL Teachers

I couldn’t yell it at my Japanese co-workers so I’m gonna write it here: people don’t learn a language through tests! I say this from experience. English is my second language. Until the age of 8.5 I could not speak a word of it. In fact, I loathed the damn gibberish I couldn’t decrypt. So much so, that I remember crying to my mother, to take me out of NZ and back to our home in Iran where were my close friends. And, look at me now! I run this silly blog where I write in English! I hold a University degree in English literature, and I spent a year and a half teaching the very language in Japan to hundreds of students. The secret? Learning through action. Through doing. Through activities and through games. Through entertainment! Through watching the TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S. No one wants to practice grammar! Ain’t nobody got time for that (or the patience)! People want to converse, to do, and to connect. Which is why I LOVE this book right here. I’m writing a post because I want to personally recommend it to all of my friends. And no, I am not on commission.

So. Whether you’re a legit ESL teacher, a part-time tutor or a helpful friend wanting to teach your helpful friend some England, this light and thus easily carried book is full of fun games and activities to spice up your lessons. For more info click HERE or HERE.
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Papa

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I used to ask my father to fetch me everything
DAD!
Can you pass me the remote?
Turn up the TV?
Bring me my phone?
And more often he’d comply
But sometimes, not
Get it yourself!
Don’t be so lazy
and once in a while:
NO WAY!
But I had a secret weapon
One that worked always
on every occasion
without exception:
MUM!
And SHE’d make him do it.

The worst thing about living alone
believe it or not
isn’t waking to silence
or returning home to it
no
it is being unable to open a jar
finding a cockroach in the bathtub
burning a fuse
and worst of all
tucking up, warm and nice…
then realising
your cup of tea is too far
to fetch
without papa.

mr. big under

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The word homesick had barely left my mouth when Y sensei organised a girl’s night out. We went to Rajita Italian restaurant which sounds more Indian than Italian does it not? There were five of us. Again, I made the mistake of asking someone what they were going to order and being looked at as if I were a Martian. In Japan, one does not simply order for themselves. Instead, several dishes are ordered to share.

As soon as our two pastas (both spaghetti – as if we hadn’t had enough noodles that week) two pizzas and a side salad were collectively decided, the girl-talk started. Now, I wont even try to document the exact dialogue exchanged as I’m sure you don’t want to read pages and pages of broken English (even thinking about it gives me a headache). So, here are the highlights instead:

We discussed Mr O, the sexy math teacher who we are all secretly in love with but who unfortunately/fortunately for him has a beautiful wife and an adorable toddler. Next, we talked about Mr K aka “Humpty Dumpty” and his very circular appearance and later, Mr H and his pointy eyebrows and super red face. Lastly, we joked about the literal translations of the Kanji which made up their names. A sensei had the most “normal” family name translating to a tranquil title of “blue mountain”. Mr O’s however; appropriately translated to “big under” which as you can imagine, resulted in many an uncontrollable laughter!