I Hate Travel

Mostly, I hate airports. One, I’m always “randomly” selected for a bomb check (I blame my nose) and two, I am stingy. Meaning, I buy cheap flights on whim thinking, “yeah no big deal,” then comes to flying, and I have 5 flights from France to Nashville (sigh). Big sigh. Here are some “travel” photos.

You know… the airport is the only place you can walk around with no shoes, a glazed look on your face, and sleep on the benches and no one judges you. (Coriander Woodruff, The Call of the Spectacled Owl)

Had a million things to say and none I knew how. I stepped forward and kissed him, like people kiss at airports, full of love and desperate longing, kisses that must imprint themselves on their recipient for the journey, for the weeks, the months ahead. (Jojo Moyes, After You)

Or the woman in front of me in the security line who asked if they would put her cat, Dave, through the luggage X-ray machine because she wanted to see if he’d eaten a necklace. (Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things)

People who meet in airports are seventy-two percent more likely to fall for each other than people who meet anywhere else. (Jennifer E. Smith, The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight)

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? (Erma Bombeck)

Four Top Tips For Travelling Healthy

Eating healthy when travelling is hard, right? Wrong. You can travel healthy just like you can be healthy in any situation if you really want to. Here are my top four tips or my four top tips.

1. Scroggin.
Make a bag of scroggin or trail mix for snacking. To be honest, I always do this anyway not just for travelling. There’s always a bag of mixed raw nuts, seeds and natural dried fruit in my handbag for in case I get hungry.. or have a sweet craving. This way, there’s always something else for me to have in place of that naughty/unhealthy/excessively sugary thing. The important thing here is to make your own. Already mixed nuts, unless otherwise stated, usually have preservatives and additives like excess oil salt and/or sugar.

2. Request a special meal. 
You can do this when booking your ticket. Even if you’re a meat lover, just for this one trip, request a vegetarian or vegan meal. Why? Because special meals are ALWAYS ALWAYS better than what everyone else gets. They’re not mass produced and guaranteed to be fresh. Special, just for you! So I had this delicious stir-fry with broccoli, shiitake mushroom, corn, capsicum, peas, green beans and celery and a wholemeal seeded bun when the dude next to me had a gross looking “beef” curry with 2 pieces of carrot and a white bun. I also had “fancy” fruit when everyone else had “boring” apple and mandarin. And, I got my special meal first. For breakfast, I was given porridge, fancy fruit again and HOT wholemeal bread from a picnic basket (the same as the people in first class) whilst the lady next to me ate a watery looking pale yellow omelette, processed sausage and a white bun wrapped in plastic.

3. Request an isle seat
Yikes, you’re being such a difficult customer! Ha, but it’s ok. You can do this. It’s free to request! Worst-case, you don’t get it. Again, you can do this when you buy your ticket or else, at the check-in counter. So why an isle seat? Yes, you miss out on taking that iconic instagram shot of the airplane wing and watching the clouds turn romantic orange but you are free, FREE I say, to walk up and down and down and up and up and wherever. Especially after eating. You know t’s not good to eat and sit.

4. Hydrate like a mothetrucker. 
We all know the benefits of drinking water. Or if we don’t know, just take my word for it.There are a billion toilets in an airport and in an airplane. So take advantage, dink up, Hydrate.